I’m convinced that I don’t play nearly enough. Neither do most adults. Instead, we work, work, work—and then end up with hypertension, ulcers, sleepless nights, depressed and anxious. One of the common themes clients present in therapy centers on the lack of vitality and joy in their lives—qualities that are directly related to the inability (and sometimes unwillingness) to play.
In his book Play, Stuart Brown asserts that play is “the single most significant factor in determining our success and happiness.” While he does not offer a definition of play, he identifies several properties of play: play is voluntary, does not have an apparent purpose (and is done for its own sake), provides freedom from time, has an inherent attraction. When we play, we lose a sense of time and become less self-conscious. Play allows us to improvise, experiment. And once we start playing, we often want to continue.
In my experience, play requires a certain degree of courage. You have to be willing to enter an unknown; you have to be willing to fail; you have to be willing to be vulnerable; you have to be able to be silly. Sometimes playing means letting go of ideas about what “should” be, ideas about identity, ideas about propriety.
If you watch children at play, you see that they are fully engaged in their activities. They experiment, try out behaviors and roles—and are willing to fail. If something doesn’t work, children just move on and try something else. Play is how they learn about themselves and the world. Indeed, play is essential to the healthy social and emotional development of children.
Over the years, I’ve increasingly come to believe that playfulness is just as essential to healthy adulthood as it is to children. Play helps us recalibrate. It helps us turn off our judging minds and be more fully present to one another. It can help lift us out of a depression or alleviate feelings of anxiety. Play nourishes us, and, not insignificantly, gives us joy—something most adults sorely lack but which we also crave. Non-competitive play is probably one of the single most important activities adults can undertake for their well-being. (Competition, while fun, is not necessarily playful because it is characterized by a striving against your competitors. Non-competitive play tends to be cooperative and builds relationships.)
So play! You'll feel better