A lot has been written in the past week about language and its power. The violence in Tucson and its aftermath sparked a much overdue national discussion about language in our public discourse. As a therapist, I am very aware of the power of words. The power of language is something that ancient people knew and respected. Every major wisdom tradition and its literature speaks to the power of language: in the Judeo-Christian tradition, God speaks the world into existence. In indigenous Australian traditions, totemic beings sang the world into existence. And from the Buddha:
The thought manifests as the word; The word manifests as the deed; The deed develops into habit; And the habit into character.
So, watch the thought and its ways with care And let it spring from love Born out of concern for all Beings. As the shadow follows the body, As we think, so shall we become. --From The Dhammapada
Words give shape to our sense of reality. They can uplift, affirm, and celebrate; and they can demean, wound, and destroy. This is not news.
But, as the Buddha insightfully noted, language subtly shapes our inner worlds; it likewise shapes our responses to the external world just as it shapes our character. The language with which we communicate reflects the internal language we use to think about ourselves and our experiences. Indeed, most of us think with language. We carry on continual internal conversations with ourselves, constructing stories in our heads about ourselves and our experiences—stories that give our experiences additional dimensions, textures, and meanings. We then encounter and respond to the world through the lens of those thoughts, words and meanings, not realizing that our encounters with others are now distorted by what our thoughts and language have constructed. Language can filter our perceptions of events which impacts our subsequent actions which are, in turn, responded to by others who have constructed their own stories about what they've experienced. All those thoughts and words create misunderstandings and confusion, usually reinforcing those internal stories we have developed. Without being fully aware of it, we have developed a habit of being in the world. Indeed, “as we think, so shall we become.”
One of the central goals of psychotherapy is to become more aware of one’s thoughts and feelings. Talking—and listening carefully to one’s words—is the primary means for developing awareness. Therapists pay close attention to language because it reveals conscious and unconscious habits of being. Indeed, we pay attention so that we can develop understanding and find a common ground from which to work on changing those habits of being that cause suffering. Attending to our thoughts and words is hard work, and altering our habitual ways of being in the world is even more difficult.
Over the past 25 years, mindfulness—being compassionately watchful of “the thought and its way with care”—has become an increasingly valued habit of being in psychotherapy, especially for therapists. Moreover, it is a habit that many therapists try to help their clients develop. Mindfulness is something that we can all practice and integrate into our daily lives.
It seems to me that real change in our public discourse can only begin with each of us as individuals living with mindful awareness in community: each of us becoming more compassionately mindful; each of us practicing becoming aware of his or her thoughts becoming words, becoming deeds, becoming habits of character.
So, watch the thought and its ways with care And let it spring from love, Born out of concern for all Beings.